Week 2 Nov PAD 2009

Day 8 Should I leave you alone

You try my patience
You make me scream
You bring out the most negative side of me
Yet I willing bring you into my arms
and surround you with the warmth and love you no longer desire.
I often wonder should I leave you alone
Let the cold realities of this world
Slap you in the face
Until you realize just how good you had it
Should I leave you alone to suffer?
Or would you surprise me and grow
Unhindered by my words of love and encouragement
Would you surprise me?
And like a cactus in the desert thrive
In the harshest conditions
No I don’t think I could survive without knowing
How much you have grown and changed
I don’t think I could survive knowing that you haven’t changed at all.

Day 9
A slippery subject

We have been given the right
To choose right or wrong
Those choices we make affect everyone

Today I will do the right thing
I will wash the clothes
I will do the chores
I will love my family
I will be responsible
I’ll go to work like a good little girl

Then the weekend begins

Tonight I will love hard
Give my all
And dance until the song ends
and the DJ has issued the last call for alcohol
And the after drinks has all been drained
My inhibitions released
I will sing off key
This choice will affect no one in particular
Except for the dogs and their sensitive ears

Tomorrow I will take and aspirin
And pray to the porcelain gods
To let me die
I will rejoice no more for the party has ended
way too soon the nausea has faded
and the memory of the cool water of the commode
refreshing my parched skin

For the weekend continues

My dress will be too short
and my heels too high
And start the party again
I will stare at you glassy eyed
And you whisper obscene words
In my ear
Your breath is hot and smells sweet
Like Hennessy and peppermint
You lips caress my neck
Arousing something hot and wet
Deep inside
I caress your cheek
Then I notice a sparkle out the corner of my eye
As my left hand slides down your face
Had I forgotten
I made my choice before you
Before now
This is a slippery subject
In the back of my mind
A face smiles at me, which is not yours
He is waiting for me
This choice I will not make.

Day 10

She drives home after a long night of work
Tired, dejected, abused
People demand of her time energy
Draining her of her healing knowledge
Demanding she make it all right
Give me drugs
Ease my pain
She pats the hands of the dying
And places warm blankets on their small skeletal forms
Death is but a heart beat away
She comforts
She calms
Words of wisdom she collects from her charges
“Don’t get old” they say “It is no fun.”
If only she could be that lucky
She looks in their sunken eye
And smile. “It will be all right” she says
She brushes the hair out of their eyes
Creased with history that they can no longer convey
She eases the pain with drug in bodies that have betrayed
The owner with cancer, diabetes or heart disease.
She drives home after a long night
of administering the one drug that cures all ills
her well of love is dry
it needs to be refilled.
She sits in her car as it grows cold
And sheds a silent tear
Composure regained she lifts her chin
“I’m home” she sighs and opens the door.
And is welcomed by the pitter patter of little feet.
“Mommy you’re home” the children shout in unison
They wrap their tiny warm bodies around her weary form
Despite her back aching
from hours of pulling
and repositioning her ailing charges
she bends low and kisses and hugs her babies.
“I love you mommy” they say
“I love you too.”
And her well is replenished to give again.

Day 11

Our dream house

We searched the internet for our dream house
What we desired cost too much
So we settled on a fixer upper that we could afford
we a great view and potential

Our builder tore off the top floor
He added a master suite with a master bath and walk in closet
My husband got his media room
(it’s really just an office with three desk and a television
Not what we envisioned but it works.)
I sit on my large new front porch
and sip tea while I watch the birds
and write.
They’ve finished the construction
now we can’t afford to live
In our dream house anymore.

The housing bubble burst
And my husband lost his job
We’re searching the internet once again
For a fixer upper we can afford
And turn into
our dream house.

Day 12

If only I had more time
I would take a leisurely walk through the park
I would listen to the fallen leaves crunch under my feet
I would sit on the bench and savor each sip of my hot chocolate
Its steam tickling my nose

If only I had more time
I would write you a poem
I would tell you how much you mean to me
And describe in detail
How my heart swells at the sight of you
If only I had more time
I would travel the world
I would explore the pyramids
Climb the Eiffel tower
And cross the desert plains on camels
I would swim in every ocean
And I sail in every sea
I would lie upon the pink sand beaches
And collect sea shells
And listen to the sounds of the waves

If only I had more time
I would share every experience, hand in hand
With you.
If you had the time.
What would you do?

Day 13

When asked to write a poem about
Things that are renewable
I had to do some free writing for a moment
because I could only think of things that aren’t renewable
like my patience and my time
Once they are gone
They’re gone
Water is not renewable
we have polluted the environment to such and extent
that every cup of water that I drink taste of chlorine
It has been treated but is it really clean?
My mind is not renewable
Every moment adds to my memory bank
The things I wish to forget
I remember
The things I want to remember
I forget
Until it is too late and the moment has passed
That too is not renewable
The moment
This moment
Will never return again.

Day 14

The people wait in cars
They wait in lines
All in the hopes
of preventing the swine

The W.H.O and the C.D.C
Have created a world wide emergency
You must get vaccinated or you will positively die
I might pass away standing in this long line

Hunger weakens my immune system by the second
While across the street burgers and fries beckon
Healthy I know it is not
But I might just die
Waiting in line for my flu shot

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