Well today has been hell. I have a headache brewing and need 2 tylenol and a glass of wine. As I posted yesterday, my dad started bleeding rectally. He was not concerned about it at all. I made him call his Dr. Michels who sent him to the emergency room. Today Dr. M ( I can’t spell the surgeons name) performed a right hemi-colectomy. Thankfully he will not have to have a colostomy. The surgeon says dad will be in the hospital for 7 to 10 days. The cancer is so extensive that had the tumor not been bleeding he may not have done the procedure at all. It has spread to his liver and lungs and other internal organs. I don’t know if my dad knows or not. He was in tears at one point prior to going in the OR and so was I. My friend Sandy is his ICU nurse, she came out to the waiting room in tears. I had been strong until that point, we held onto each other for several moments and wept for the gentle soul who deserves so much better. The two of them had met the day before and planned to go golfing when he got out of the hospital. In just that brief period of time Iran Wasson had touched the heart of yet another human being. What if he never has a chance to play? Sandy and I will just have to make sure he does.
I have multiple issues to deal with right now. One, the doctor has given my dad only 3 to 6 months to live. I looked at him sleeping in the recovery room all peaceful, and I cannot imagine him not being a part of my life anymore. He has taken care of me and all of my children since they were born. I see him everyday. Not like my mom who I probably saw once a week before she died in 2008 which was horrible for my children and I. Now I have to tell my children that they are going to lose another grandparent, one that has practically lived with them all their lives.
Today is my 5th wedding anniversary. My husband and I have had a trip to Arizona planned for months. We are schedule to leave in ….you guessed it 10 days. Who am I going to get to take care of my children and dad while we are gone. I feel guilty that I want to go. My mother in law has agreed to stay with the kids, but who will stay with my Dad? My husband want to cancel the trip but we cannot get a refund. If we didn’t have another couple depending on us going on this trip I would cancel. I feel guilty but I am so stressed out I need to get away for a while. I feel like a horrible daughter. What else is new?